The last step in parental love involves the release of the beloved; the willing cutting of the cord that would otherwise keep the child in a state of emotional dependence.
LOUIS MUMFORD
Over the past two years I have had watched my friend, Angela, celebrate the college graduations of all three of her children, celebrate her daughters' marriages, and today she and her husband, Darren, witnessed their son become a junior officer in the U.S. Navy. Wonderful events and celebrations and as parents, very proud moments.
These celebrations are bittersweet for a mother. On one hand, you are so blessed to know that your children are moving forward and fulfilling their calling and destiny according to God's plan. But on the other hand, your heart is breaking because you realize that no longer will your babies be living under your roof and, in Angela's case, they will not even be living in her community or part of the country.
It is in these "celebrations" of milestones that we realize our children no longer need us to teach them to tie their shoes or how to write their ABC's. These little ones, we have loved since the moment we knew we were carrying them inside of ,will no longer need us to wash their team uniforms or bring snacks for the team to the next game. We are no longer needed to sew Halloween costumes, bake cupcakes for their class, put toys together, or take them to kids' church and Sunday School. We won't be needed to remind them to wear their seat belt or not text and drive. It becomes painfully obvious that we, the moms, are no longer needed. Or are we?
The reason we did all of the above was to prepare our babies for adult life. To demonstrate love, commitment, faith and family in front of them. The goal and objective from the very first moment they placed that beautiful child in our arms, was to "teach them the way they should go, so when they are older they would not depart from it." Isn't that still our goal? Just because we aren't "physically" needed at every moment, doesn't mean our love and teaching stop.
At one point today I noticed Angela wrapping her hand tightly around her Navy son's finger. I instantly went back to when my sons' were born and one of my favorite memories of them is when they would wrap their little fingers around my pinky. There was a bond. A commitment. A blessing. These things go on, even after our children are grown and away from our watchful eye.
Are we still needed? YES! We are needed to support them as they move forward. We are needed to love them unconditionally as they continue to learn how to navigate through this world. We are needed to encourage them when this world mistreats them and life doesn't seem fair. We are needed to offer wisdom when asked, forgiveness when required, and comfort as only a parent can do. They are still counting on us to be there.
True, "being there"may now mean skyping; phone calls; emails and/or the occasional visit, but their location is just geography. The heart strings are still attached and it amazes me how God allows them to,not only stretch the distance between, but to become stronger in the stretching!
My friend, Angela, has demonstrated with such grace what it means to "hold their hand for a little while, but their heart forever". Our jobs, as mothers, has not ended, the method in which we "mother" has merely changed. <3
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